


Seasons (Hizzie AU)

by CamrensPosie



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Inspired by Poetry, LGBTQ Character, Love Stories, Multi, Protective Siblings, Siblings, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23549311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CamrensPosie/pseuds/CamrensPosie
Summary: Lizzie oriented one-shot based on a poem I stumbled upon long time ago. I wrote it as a camren endgame for Wattpad but I'm reposting it on here as Hizzie endgame,
Relationships: Alyssa Chang/Lizzie Saltzman, Hope Mikaelson/Lizzie Saltzman, Lizzie Saltzman/Rafael Waithe, Lizzie Saltzman/Sebastian
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Seasons (Hizzie AU)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [In Autumn I Found A Boy](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/580162) by Unknown. 



> trigger warning: mention of physical and mental abuse.

**_in autumn i found a boy_ **  
**_who asked me to cut my hair_ **  
**_and said i love you_ **  
**_only after sex and six shots_ **  
**_i sipped tea and told my friends about him_ **  
**_they said if you're happy and_ **  
**_knew i was not._ **

**(Part I: Rafael)**

Lizzie never really liked autumn. She didn't like the fact that summer vacation is over and she has to go back to school and deal with annoying kids, teachers and homework. She didn't like autumn because the weather was being a little bitch and the days were getting shorter and shorter. It's all about Halloween and pumpkins, and it was a flue season.

Lizzie hated autumn. She hated it up until the first day of her junior year when Miss Peterson called her into her office and asked her to give a tour to the new boy in school, Rafael.

She didn't expect the day to go any different than all the other days she had inside of that building.

However, as soon as she stepped into the building she was called into Miss Peterson's office, leaving her no time to greet her friends.

"Lizzie, it's so lovely to see you." Miss Peterson said with a tired smile on her face

"Yeah, uh, you too." Lizzie stumbled upon her words.

Truth be told, she wasn't sure why she's even here.

"I was wondering," Miss Peterson started "if you'd be so kind and show Rafael around the school. He's new in here, just moved from Memphis."

Just then, the blue-eyed girl noticed a very attractive boy sitting on the couch in the corner of the room.

"Of course Miss." She nodded-

Now, Lizzie Saltzman, probably the student with the best grades in the whole school, didn't really feel like being a tour guide to a new kid on the block. However, when the new kid looks like a freaking model, Lizzie Saltzman can not say no to the offer.

As Lizzie is showing him around she finds out that Rafael is a senior and moved to New Orleans just last week. His mother had died from cancer when he was only five, leaving his father with three kids, two of them being just a year and a half old.

She doesn't talk much, mostly explains where his classes will be and gives him tips on the teachers, who's good and who's bad, who you can joke around with and who doesn't know what a joke is.

"So, that would be it. I've showed you the classrooms, told you about the teachers, showed you your locker. Oh, one more thing. Lunch. On Tuesdays we have pizza and it's actually really good, and on Thursday rice with sea food, any other day you better bring your food. Considering you're a senior, you're allowed to leave the school area during lunch break, but if you don't come back, they call your parents.

"What about sports?" Rafael questions.

"For boys there's basketball, baseball and football. However, I heard this year they will add waterpolo."

"What about soccer?"

"Soccer?"

"You know what a soccer is, right?"

"Of course I do." Lizzie laughs "No, we don't have it. There's a local soccer team around, I'm not sure where. Why don't you put your number in my phone and I'll text you later during the day when I find out."

"Sounds great." He flashes her his best smile as he takes the phone from Lizzie's hand.

As the day go Lizzie finds herself texting Rafael a lot more for them to be just _acquaintances._ Most of her time she spends showing Rafael around the city, showing him all the good places she'd never probably even think about going in, if it wasn't for her. As promised, she tells him about the soccer team and comes to his try-out and then to most of his practices.

But it's not like the friendship is one-sided because every Monday and Wednesday she finds him on the bleachers cheering up for her during her softball practices.

Eventually, Rafael becomes a bit more popular than she expected him to be and Lizzie gets insecure about their friendship being over now that he's a part of the popular crowd.

He makes sure to show her there's no need to be insecure and still spends every Monday evening at her place as they watch movies with her siblings and friends. Something that's been going on since her freshman year.

Somewhere between staying up until two in the morning to text Rafael and smiling at his stupid jokes, Lizzie feels herself falling for him.

She's not surprised when one Wednesday after her practice she finds him leaning on the fence, but she is surprised when she sees him holding a bouquet of flowers.

"What's this? Going on a date?" She tries to joke.

"Depends, will you join me?"

For a moment or two, Lizzie's sure she's dreaming, she even pinches herself, causing Rafael to let out a softly laugh.

"Wait, what?"

"Will you go out on a date with me? I really like you Lizzie and if I'm not wrong I think you like me too."

"You're not wrong." Lizzie mumbles, her cheeks blushing.

"So, it's a date?" Rafael asks hopefully.

"It's a date."

And a date it was. That weekend, he took her out to her favourite hole in the wall, paid for their meal and for all rounds of pool and air hockey they played. And by doing that, earned himself a good night kiss.

Naturally, their friendship transformed from a very good friendship to a relationship. The one that left Lizzie a blushing mess whenever she spoke about it. Rafael was a catch, everyone knew that.

But then Friday nights started to become parties after a game and Rafael would either drink to celebrate the win or drink because they lost the game. At first Lizzie didn't mind. There's nothing new about teenagers drinking on weekends, she even did it herself on a few occasions.

The first time she heard him saying those three words was exactly on one of those parties, right after they finished yet another round of taking Vodka shots, or perhaps it was Tequila, Lizzie wasn't sure, she didn't try it.

Her heart skipped a beat as the words left his mouth.

She wanted to tell him she loves him too, but his breath smelled like alcohol and his eyes were red.

"Raf, you're drunk." She said.

"Perhaps, but I do love you."

The second time he said it was right after their first time together. It happened spontaneously while they were babysitting his siblings one night. The kids went to sleep and Rafael and Lizzie decided to watch a movie and cuddle in his room.

Cuddling turned into kissing, kissing turned into heated make-out session which turned into sex.

He was gentle and caring and the three words slipped his mouth as he watched Lizzie going down on him.

And that's mostly how it went, he'd never really say it when he was sober of alcohol or adrenaline.

"You'd look hot with a short hair." He said one day as they sat on the beach

"You think so?"

He hummed in confirm and pulled out his phone. Lizzie saw him liking another girl's instagram post and told herself it's nothing.

It wasn't nothing though, she caught him liking more and more pictures of other girls, looking at them as they passed by, checking them out, even smiling and winking at them.

So, she cut her hair.

"Fuck, you're so hot." He said as she stepped into his room.

He was half naked and sweaty from his work-out and when he invited Lizzie to join him for a shower, she didn't say no. Although, she just took a shower before coming to his place.

The three words echoed through his tiny bathroom as he pumped into Lizzie, slowly at first but then harder and faster.

Maya was the first one to notice the change in Lizzie, to notice the darkness in her usual bright blue eyes.

Although the two girls barely saw each other, considering Maya left for college, they still managed to stay close. Lizzie told her a lot about Rafael.

"As long as you're happy." Maya sad with a sad smile on her face one Saturday afternoon as she took a sip of her chamomile tea.

Lizzie added some sugar into her cup and stirred her strawberry-vanilla tea with a teaspoon before speaking.

"I am."

And they both knew that she's lying.

* * *

**in winter i kissed a girl**  
**who tasted like cigarettes and said**  
**" _i love you_ " all the time but**  
**hurt herself whenever i made mistakes**  
**she threatened to kill herself if i ever left**  
**my friends watched my wash my hands**  
**and did not tell me to test that**

**(Part II: Alyssa)**

Somewhere between November and December Lizzie's relationship status changed from in _a relationship_ to _single_. Not the one on her Facebook profile, that one will probably be _single_ even when Lizzie is happily married with the third kid on the way, she wasn't even sure if she still knows the password.

Rafael was a stranger to her by now, quite literally. The sweet boy she met at the first day of school year and the boy who by now ruled the high school was not the same person. Sure, he looked the same and had the same name but everything else about him was different. The way his smile never quite reached his eyes anymore, or how his sweet innocent laugh turned into the evil one, even the tone of his voice was sharper and deeper, cruel even.

At the end of December, when Rafael was almost forgotten, Lizzie got invited to MG's New Year's Eve party.

To be invited to MG’s party you have to leave an impression on her. Lizzie did that in her fifth grade when she spilled her dirty water all over MG's canvas and apologized so many times with so many candies that on the fifth day after it happened MG told her for the last time it's not a big deal(although it kind of was) and that if she says she's sorry one more time, they're not friends.

So, Lizzie didn't apologize for it again, and they became friends. Best friends, Lizzie would dare to say.

Now, Lizzie and Josie were standing in front of MG’s household and patiently waited for someone to open the door for them.

When the door finally opened, Lizzie gasped. In front of her, in a long black dress was a modern version of Greek goddess Aphrodite herself.

"Hello," she flashed them a smile, her eyes lingering on Lizzie a bit more "I'm Alyssa."

"Josie, and Lizzie." Josie introduced herself and Lizzie as walked into the house.

"Where's MG?"

"In the kitchen, preparing drinks. Some cocktails, I think. How do you know him?"

"We shared an art class in fifth grade. What about you?"

Alyssa lets out a chuckle. "Kinda the same. We take art classes together."

"Oh the ones he takes every Thursday?"

"Mhm. So, do you like art?"

"I drew half the pictures that are hanging on MG's walls." Lizzie shrugs.

"So, you're the famous EJS. Perhaps you should join our art class."

"I don't know. I'm not that good. Like, MG's work--"

"Just because MG's work is good, doesn't mean yours isn't. What are you doing ever Thursday afternoon?"

Lizzie thought for a second about her question. Ever since her break-up with Rafael, Lizzie spent her Thursdays doing everything and nothing, unlike when she was in a relationship and spent her Thursdays afternoons watching her now ex-boyfriend playing soccer.

"Nothing." She replied eventually.

"Perfect, I'll tell MG to pick you up before class."

And with that, Alyssa turned around and disappeared into the crowded room.

The next time Lizzie caught a glimpse of her was when she was just in the middle of her rant about weed being a good thing.

"I agree." A voice behind her said and sent shivers all over her body.

"You're a stoner." One of the girls next to Lizzie laughed.

"I barely smoke weed." Alyssa defended herself "But it is healthy, if you don't abuse the taking."

"Thanks for backing me up." Lizzie offered a smile "I owe you one."

"I'll be sure to think of something I want then." The raven-haired girl smirked.

"I'll be waiting." Lizzie winked.

Lizzie's playing with fire. She knew that to Alyssa it could be just a game, and perhaps it should be just a game to her too. However, when midnight came and she felt Alyssa's lips on her own and Alyssa's arms wrapped around her neck, she knew that this is the game she wants to play.

Alyssa tasted like cigarettes which wasn't a surprise because the whole night she had been lighting up one after another, her pack of Camel cigarettes gone in less than three hours.

But Lizzie liked the way she kissed her and decided that tasting a bit of cigarettes is worth it if it means getting a kiss from Alyssa.

Lizzie becomes regular visitor in MG's art class, and she finds herself making out with Alyssa on more occasions. Like, whenever they had some free time.

Alyssa's an artist, Lizzie knew that. What she didn't know is that when there's no canvas and brushes around, Alyssa turns her body into canvas and the razors she keeps under her mattress into brushes.

The first time Lizzie sees it, they're in Alyssa's room and she's wearing only shorts and a crop top.

She's sitting on top of Lizzie, straddling her, as her lips attack Lizzie's neck hungrily.

Lizzie's hands are roaming all over her body and when she grabs her by her hips, Alyssa lets out a whine. Lizzie knows when she's whining in pleasure and this isn't one of those times.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Alyssa pulls away.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No--"

"Did you hurt yourself?"

And when Alyssa doesn't reply, Lizzie takes it as a yes. She has read about it online, someone people do it on their wrist and some hide it all over their body.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I just wanna make out for now."

And Lizzie can't do much but kiss her again.

They don't talk much about it, Lizzie tries to but Alyssa shuts her down almost always.

Unlike Rafael who would only told her he loves her after sex and six shots, Alyssa makes sure to tell her almost every day. Technically, they've been together for almost two months and perhaps this game isn't what Lizzie though it's gonna be.

Alyssa cares, perhaps too much. She cares to the point where if Lizzie does something slightly out of line, she blames herself. And when she blames herself, she decides to punish herself.

Lizzie realizes it became too serious at one point and decides to talk to her about it. She's not sure what to say, but she needs to say something.

She takes a deep breath as she walks into Alyssa's room.

It's like Alyssa knows because as soon Lizzie opens her mouth and not a word comes out, Alyssa is a crying mess.

She's screaming and crying and Lizzie is pretty sure that the dark skinned girl is shaking.

"You can't leave me!"

"I'm not _leaving_ you, I just--"

"If you leave me, I don't know what I'm gonna do. If I don't have you, my life isn't worth living. I'm gonna kill myself if I lose you Lizzie."

"You won't." Is the only thing Lizzie can say before hugging her tightly.

It takes minutes until Alyssa somewhat calms down and Lizzie offers to go to the kitchen and get her some water.

When she comes back, there's a blood stained towel on the floor next to Alyssa’s bed and the raven-haired girl is already asleep.

Lizzie's not sure what to do, so she texts MG to come over.

"If I were you, I wouldn't test it." MG says as he watches Lizzie washing off the now dried blood from her hands

"You're right."

"But also, find a way to make it less toxic."

* * *

**in spring i spent some time**  
**with a boy who told me**  
**it was his way or no way and**  
**when i challenged that,**  
**he told me**  
**_"i love you and that's why i'm doing this"_ **  
**my friends saw my bruises and gripped my wrists**  
**while i said _"i deserve him'"_**

**(Part III: Sebastian)**

The last time Lizzie heard from Alyssa was when the girl called her after two weeks of no-one knowing anything about her. Her parents moved to Orlando and she moved to a mental hospital.

A part of Lizzie couldn't help but blame herself, although she knew that's not true. It wasn't her fault.

"You need to loosen up a bit, Lizzie" Kym told her as the two of them sat in Kymi's room, doing homework

"I'm fine Kym."

"No, you're not. We're going out tonight. I'm texting the girls."

"I don't want to." Lizzie whined.

"Well, fucking deal it it. It's April already and I'm not gonna sit here and watch you blaming yourself for someone else's breakdown."

Lizzie only nodded, perhaps Kym was right.

Three hours later Lizzie is gripping Kym’s hand as they walked into Diamonds.

"Will you relax before you break my hand?"

"We're underage Kym."

"Are you really telling me you don't have fake I.D.?"

"Josie bought us so we can vote." Lizzie says as Josie flashes Kym a proud smile.

"And I bought mine so I can buy alcohol, and you'll do the same with yours sister."

 _"Kymm._ " Lizzie whines

"I'll buy you a first drink and then it's all on you."

"If you don't mind," a deep voice from behind them says "I'd like to be the one who buys her a first drink tonight."

The three of them turn around to see a tall brown-haired boy smiling at them.

"And who are you?" Kym questioned

"Sebastian, nice to meet you ladies."

"I'm Kym, and the girl you're buying a drink is Lizzie."

"Pretty name for a pretty girl."

"If you're gonna be that lame--" Josie starts replying but he cuts her off.

"It was a joke." Sebastian interrupts Josie's rant and looks at Lizzie "Not all of it. You really are beautiful."

Throughout the whole night Sebastian stays around with Lizzie and her friends and whenever he's not looking, Kym and Josie are smirking at them.

As the night is coming to an end, his hand find its place on Lizzie's bare legs and she feels her skin getting on fire.

Now, she's not a one-night girl, usually. However, something about Sebastian makes her think unholy thoughts.

She drags him to do the dancing floor and starts sexually dancing for him, making sure he gets as turned on as she is, which is a lot by now.

And he does, his hands are gripping Lizzie's hips and pulling her closer and the smirk on his face doesn't move away until Lizzie's lips replace it instead.

Lizzie finds herself intoxicated as she kisses him. They both taste like Whiskey-Cola, Lizzie's drink of the night.

"It's hot in here." Lizzie whispers into his ear

"It is." He nods but pulls Lizzie closer anyway

"Perhaps we should go somewhere else." Lizzie suggests

That's all he need to hear before dragging her back to their table so they can grab their stuff.

"Be careful, I'll see you tomorrow, text me." Josie mumbles into Lizzie's neck as she hugs her goodbye

"See you tomorrow girls." Lizzie replies before walking away

 _One night stand,_ that's what Lizzie told herself as she watched Sebastian driving to his place. _Nothing more._

But fuck, how can it be nothing more when Lizzie is letting out screams and moans of pleasure as he flicks his tongue through her wet folds, when he thrusts into Lizzie so hard, when he fucks her so good that it only leaves her wanting more?

One night stand turns into countless fucking sessions, and Sebastian turns from a stranger to a fuck buddy, for the lack of words.

There's nothing else going on, there's no feelings and Lizzie's not even sure if they'd be friends if it wasn't for the fact that he knows how to please her.

They probably wouldn't.

She's not quite sure why she gets so distressed when she walks into his apartment one evening and finds him fucking a blonde girl on the table, the same table she was bent across just two days ago.

She just stands there as she watches the blonde reaching her climax. Not quite sure what to say or do.

It kind of bothers her, the fact that he said she's not allowed to be with anyone else(not that she wanted to, anyway) but here he is, fucking another girl.

And then he sees her and flashes her a smile. He fucking smiles at her and she kind of feels sick.

He tells her to go to his room and for some reason, she does as told. She waits for a few minutes and tries to listen to his conversation with Barbie. She hears the door closing and his footsteps coming closer.

There's still a smile on his face as he opens the bedroom door and it makes Lizzie snap.

She snaps at him, starts yelling at him, screaming, punching him.

He only grabs her wrists tightly, to the point when she finally lets go, there's blue prints as a reminder.

"What's gotten into you?" Sebastian snaps at her.

"You are fucking around!"

"I can fuck who I want to Lizzie!"

"Then do as you wish."

She makes her way towards the door but he once again grabs her wrist and pulls her back. A moment later he's angrily kissing her and she moans into the kiss.

He pins her against the wall and as he rip her clothes off and his mouth leave open mouth kisses all over her body, she forgets about him fucking that Barbie.

It continues like that, him fucking around and Lizzie not being able to do anything, because they aren't actually together.

He tells her he'll pick her up on Friday after school and Lizzie takes the opportunity to make him as jealous as she is sometimes.

She'd never admit it to anyone, but she's sure that somewhere between multiple orgasms she had, she started to feel something for him.

She can see his car pulling up as she shamelessly flirts with a boy from her Spanish class.

She can feel his eyes glued to her back but she doesn't dare to turn around, she doesn't want to turn around. Not yet.

Her phone buzzed and she pulls it out of her back pocket.

_get in the car. now!!_

She lets out a chuckle and says goodbye to Dante, making sure that Sebastian hears about Dante being at her place tomorrow. Of course, it's nothing else but a school project, but Sebastian doesn't have to know that.

Sebastian doesn't say a word as he grips the steering wheel tightly. But as soon as they take a step into his apartment, Lizzie's being pushed against the door and his hand is in her hair, yanking it harshly.

He mumbles something about Lizzie being only his to touch and how that little repulsive, repellent, obnoxious, nasty little scumbag is forbidden to ever even think of touching _his_ Lizzie.

And Lizzie forgets about the pain he's causing her because he just told her he belongs to him, and in a twisted way, her heart feels happy to heart that.

The next day Sebastian walks into her house just in time to see Dante leaning over the table and reaching for Lizzie's hand.

"Perhaps you should leave." His announces himself

"Who the fuck are you?"

Sebastian raises his eyebrows and looks at Lizzie.

"It's okay Dante, you should leave, I'll finish this and e-mail you your part."

Dante huffs loudly but doesn't say a word to Sebastian as he packs his stuff and walks over to the door.

"Be sure to e-mail it to me before five, so I can study."

And before Lizzie could reply, Sebastian slams the door.

"That was so fucking rude!" Lizzie yells at him

" _He was touching you Lizzie."_ Sebastian growls

"He was not touching me!"

Sebastian's eyes widen at Lizzie's outburst. Did she really raise her voice at him?

And then his palm collided with Lizzie's cheek and a tear strolled down her face.

She stood there in shock.

"I'm trying to protect you because I love you. I'm doing this because I love you."

Those three words again. Three words that left Lizzie speechless.

After realizing he won't get an answer, he grabbed her bridal style and took her to her room.

Lizzie felt as if she's a prisoner in this whole thing they had going on. What even they had going on? She wasn't sure. It wasn't a relationship, but it wasn't just fuck buddies either, not anymore.

Sebastian was nice for most of the time, except when Lizzie would fuck up and deserved to be punished.

"What's that?" Kym asked as she looked at Lizzie's wrist

Lizzie's eyes widened and she rolled down the sleeves of her plaid button-up shirt.

"Nothing."

_"Lizzie--"_

"I deserved it Kym, let it go." Lizzie cut her off before she could say a thing

* * *

**in summer i wanted**  
**no one at all**  
**and when she walked into my life**  
**i didn't expect**  
**to**  
**fall**  
_**but she kisses like the devil** _  
_**while keeping all my demons away** _  
**my friends held my gaze and told me**  
**keep her. stay.**

**(Part IV: Hope)**

Kym didn't let it go. Of course she didn't fucking let it go. She waited for another week and a half-maybe two to see what's really going on.

And then she realized that Lizzie's too deep into this to swim out by herself and she, as her best friend, had to do something about it.

"Hey, where's Lizzie? Haven't seen her around since I came few days ago."

"Yeah," Kym turned around to face her adoptive older brother "neither have I."

"Are you two fighting?" Kaleb questions.

"No, she has-- there's this guy we met--"

"Oh, boy drama." Kaleb smirked.

"No, it's-- I think Lizzie's in an abusive relationship."

" _She's what?"_ Kaleb raised his voice

"Kaleb, keep it down, will you?"

"No, Kym. Are you sure?"

"She didn't tell me but there's bruises all over her body and I know she's into wild sex but this is different."

Kym watched as her brother gripped the chair tightly and how his light brown eyes turned into a much darker shade.

"Do you know where he lives?"

"No."

"I only know his name and how he looks."

"Find him on Facebook."

Kym nodded without hesitation.

"What are you gonna do?"

"Nicely ask him to back off." Kaleb shrugged

"By nicely--"

"Politely, classy. Words only."

Kym nodded. But truth be told, Kaleb didn't need to use anything else but his words when it came to scaring people. He was a tall guy, full of muscles, and as if that wasn't enough, of fucking course he knew how to win a match. After all, he did grew up on the street until he turned sixteen, and sometimes, that's more than enough.

To anyone else, he was intimidating, but to Kym, he was a giant teddy bear. He was the one she'd cuddle up to when there was a storm outside, the one who would take her to the park, the one who played along as she threw tea parties for her toys, the one who wore a pink tutu because Kym looked at him with puppy eyes.

He was very thankful Kym's parents found him on time and since the day his eyes met Kym's, he promised to herself and to her that he will always protect her, even if it meant risking his own life.

A few phone calls and half an hour later, Kaleb found himself in front of the fairly new building and rang the first bell he saw.

"Postman." He said.

He rolled his eyes as the woman let him in. He counted the numbers of apartments until he reached the third apartment on the left side of the fourth floor.

He knocked the door and waited for it to open.

Kaleb lets out a scoff as he sees the boy in front of him.

"And you are?" Sebastian asked, arrogance evident in his voice

"Prince charming. Where's Lizzie?" Kaleb asked as he walked past Sebastian, into the apartment "Nice place."

"The fuck you want?"

"Where's Lizzie?" Kaleb repeated his question.

For a split second Sebastian's eyes were focused on one of the doors and Kaleb took that as a sign before going there himself.

He almost let out a gasp as he saw Lizzie, half-naked sitting on the bathroom floor with a bruised lip.

Lizzie was surprised to see him, of course she was, but most of all, she was ashamed.

"Take your stuff and meet me in the car." He said calmly to the blue-eyed girl

"She's not going anywhere!" Sebastian yelled.

"Excuse me?"

"She's staying here with me."

Kaleb didn't pay much attention to Sebastian's words, he was focused on making sure Lizzie's okay to stand on her own feet by herself and when he made sure she was, he turned around to face the brown-haired boy.

"Sam, is it?"

"Sebastian."

"Right, same shit anyway. Listen here buddy. Lizzie here is a very important person in my life. _Very important._ I promised my sister I'd protect her from everything and along the way, I promised myself that little Lizzie will always have an older brother if she needs one. She looks like she needs one--"

"You don't know shit!" Sebastian spat into his face.

"Listen white boy, I'm not gonna fight you, I don't fight weaker than me. However, if I ever see you anywhere near Lizzie, if I even hear that you asked about her or tried to get in a contact with her, you'll regret ever being alive. Is that clear?"

When Sebastian didn't say anything, Kaleb repeated his question.

"Is. That. Clear?!"

"Fuck you! And fuck her! Get out of my place!"

Kaleb raised his eyebrow and pushed him to the floor, gently but strong enough that he actually falls.

"Mark my words white boy." He said before walking out of the apartment

Lizzie was thankful for a lot of things, but that night, as she cuddled herself closer to Kym's warm body, she was thankful for her best friend.

It took her nearly three weeks until she could finally fall asleep without waking up in tears because she saw Sebastian in her dreams.

It was no secret he left a number on her. She became numb.

"Hey Lizzie, take this across the street to the new family and invite them over for the dinner."

"What new family?" Lizzie questioned as she looked at the basked her mother had prepared

"The one that just moved in. Honey, we've been talking about this for a few days now, where's your mind been?"

Now that she thinks about it, she does remember something about it. Not all of it thought.

"All over the place." Lizzie mumbles dryly

"Get your shit together love. Can you take this over or should I ask Josie?"

"I'll do it." Lizzie nods and gets up

She looks herself in the mirror to make sure she looks somewhat decent.

She scoffs as she thinks how just less than a year ago she looked so different than she does now.

Her long hair was now much shorter. She lost some weight and she kind of blames it on sleepless night she spent crying and all the days she spent not eating because just the thought of food made her sick to her stomach. Her pale skin was slowly but surely going back to being bronze, thanks to the fact she's spending more time out on the sun with her friends than being someone's punching bag in a dark room.

Everything about her was different.

"You still look like a piece of crap." Josie jokes.

Perhaps they aren’t as close as they were back when they were kids, and perhaps Josie didn’t see the red flags before Kym did, but she made a promise to them both that from now on she’ll always have Lizzie’s back.

And siblings bickering is a part of that.

Lizzie flips her off before grabbing the _welcome to the neighborhood_ basket and walking out of the house.

She watched as the family of four carried their stuff inside the house and cleared her throat when she came near enough.

"Hello, um, I'm Lizzie, Saltzman. Just across the street," she pointed to her house "my mom sent me to give you this and wanted to know if you'd like to join us for dinner."

"Oh honey, we don't want to intrude." The woman replied

"No, I insist." Lizzie smiled weakly

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Tell your mother we'll be there then. It was nice meeting you Lizzie, I'm Hayley by the way."

Lizzie nodded. "I'll leave you to uhm unpack. See you tonight Mrs Hayley."

Just as fast as she walked over to their house, she walked back to her house, if not even faster.

She ignored Josie's question about the new girl.

_"Is she hot? She looks so fucking hot from here."_

It kind of made her feel sick and she decided that she will take a short nap before they come.

Eventually she was woken up by Josie, who had trouble choosing what to wear.

Instead of yelling at her sister, like she would in the past, she actually thanked her for waking her up, considering she herself had to get ready too.

Half an hour. That's how long it took her to take a shower and get dressed into her favorite dress. She even made an effort to brush her hair.

_Dress to impress._

Josie was kind of right, they did have a hot daughter. Kind of. At first Lizzie though she's hot but as the night went on, she realized the older girl was such a dork and a nerd. She found it endearing.

"Say Hope, would you rather have a private movie theatre in your house or your very own library?" Lizzie questioned the older girl once all three girls were upstairs in Lizzie’s bedroom.

"Library." Hope replied without a hesitation "I'm a book worm."

"So am I." Lizzie smiled fondly

For the first time in weeks, she actually smiled. Real smile, not the fake one everyone else would get.

They talked and talked and talked until it was Hope's time to go home. Josie leaving the room long time ago already.

The older girl stood up as she heard her mother calling her from the downstairs.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Hope asked hopefully

"For sure." Lizzie nodded.

And then, Hope pulled her into a hug. Lizzie flinched.

"Not a hugger?" Hope instantly pulled away "Sorry."

"Don't be. It's okay." Lizzie shrugged it off.

Hope nodded once. "Good night Lizzie."

"Good night Hope."

As the days of summer came and passed, Lizzie felt herself being more and more drawn to the certain brunette. However, she knew better than to jump into this. For all she knew, Hope could turn out to be worse than anyone else she had dated in the past.

But she wasn't. She made sure Lizzie knows she's loved and that someone cares about her.

It was during one stormy night that Lizzie decided to open up to Hope.

They were pretty close by then, there was this special bond between them, and everyone could see it.

It was the night Lizzie ended up using Hope as her shoulder to cry on. She cried over Rafael and how he was the first one make her question her worthy; she cried over Alyssa and how she still blames herself for Alyssa's break-down; she cried over Sebastian and how she can't look herself in the mirror without imagining the bruises where they once were.

All the time, Hope held her tightly, gently played with her hair and softly rubbed calming circles on Lizzie's back.

"You like her." Josie commented one day as their group of friends all left to joke around in the water

"What?" Lizzie looked away from Hope, her eyes now focusing on her twin sister.

"Hope. You like her."

"I don't."

"You do. It's okay. I like her, for you. She's good for you. She makes you happy."

"I don't like her." Lizzie repeated

"Whatever floats your boat Liz But in case you were wondering, I think she likes you too."

However, that night when Lizzie was left all alone with her thoughts, for the first time she admitted to herself that Josie is right. Not that she'd ever admit it to her. That’s just not something siblings do.

She looks across the street and sees that Hope's light is still on, although it's already two in the morning.

She sends her a quick text saying she herself cannot sleep and that she's coming over if Hope's okay with it.

As soon as she gets a positive answer from Hope, she slips into her shoes and grabs her keys before walking out of the house.

"Hey," Hope is already standing at the door, waiting for her "you okay?"

"I am now."

And the smile on Hope's face becomes bigger.

She leads Lizzie upstairs to her room.

"Sorry about the mess, I was writing." Hope makes a show of gesturing to the guitar on the floor and a notebook with a pen attached to it

"About?"

"Feelings." Hope mumbles

"Oh, wanna talk about feelings?"

"Not really, no. Why? Do you?"

"Maybe." Lizzie shrugs and takes a seat on Hope's bed.

"If you do, I'm a great listener."

"I know, it's one of the things I like about you."

The room is so quiet and the only thing that can be hear is the rapid beating of their hearts.

"Hope?"

Hope lifts her head up to look at Lizzie. She almost lets out a gasp as she sees Lizzie's bright blue eyes staring right into her own, they flicker to her lips for a second before focusing back at her eyes.

"I'm not crazy, am I?" Lizzie questions,

She decides to leave out the part where she says that she spent the past three hours thinking about Hope and over-analyzing Hope's actions towards her.

"About?" Hope whispers

"Us."

_Us._

The older girl smiles at the word.

"No, you're not."

"So, you-- I'm not seeing things that aren't real--"

"My feelings are very real Lizzie." Hope's voice is so quiet that Lizzie almost doesn't hear it

"Okay, good. I mean-- that's nice. Because, I-- uh--"

And then Hope's soft lips are on her own and for the first time in her life, it feels _right_.

"Thank you for shutting me up." Lizzie says once Hope finally pulls away

Hope rolls her eyes and lets out a chuckle.

"Any time."

"What about now?"

Another chuckle leaves Hope's mouth but she nods her head before leaning over and kissing Lizzie's lips once again.

When Hope pulls away again, they don't say a word. They stare at the stars on Hope's ceiling as they hold each other's hands.

"I don't wanna rush into this." Lizzie says after what feels like forever

"Then we won't. I've got the time, I'll wait."

Indeed, Hope gives Lizzie all the time she needs. She's there for her when she needs her and gives her space when she knows Lizzie is suffocating. She understands.

And when Lizzie finally gets her shit together, she asks her on a date. It turns into the second one, the third one, fourth one, and on the fifth, she asks her to be her girlfriend.

"Like, officially?"

"Like, officially." Lizzie laughs at the younger girl

They take it as slow as Lizzie needs but even Lizzie knows that sometimes she has to speed up things, even if that's not what she wants. She's scared of unknown, but it's Hope. And Hope keeps her demons away. That's all that matters.

She finds herself having a heavy make-out sessions with her girlfriend on more than one occasion. And she can't stop herself from doing so, because Hope looks like an angel but kisses like the devil. And she's in love with it.

"I told you." Josie smirks as she walks over to Lizzie and Hope in between their classes.

"Told her what?" Kym questions, following Josie.

"She knows."

"I know." Lizzie nods

"What did you tell her?" Kym asks Josie

"What did she tell you?" Hope questions Lizzie

Lizzie shakes her head and smiles at her sister.

Both Hope and Kym decide to drop the subject, realizing there's no point in trying to get the answers from them. Twin connection kind of problems.

The bell rings and Kym and Hope walk over to the direction of their classrooms, while Josie and Lizzie walk towards theirs.

"Keep her Liz. Stay."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Lizzie smiles at her sister.

**Author's Note:**

> full poem:
> 
> in autumn i found a boy  
> who asked me to cut my hair  
> and said 'i love you'  
> only after sex and six shots  
> i sipped tea and told my friends about him  
> they said 'if you're happy' and  
> knew i was not.
> 
> in winter i kissed a girl  
> who tasted like cigarettes and said  
> 'i love you' all the time but  
> hurt herself whenever i made mistakes  
> she threatened to kill herself if i ever left  
> my friends watched me wash my hands  
> and did not tell me to test that.
> 
> in spring i spent some time  
> with a boy who told me  
> it was his way or no way and  
> when i challenged that,  
> he told me  
> 'i love you and that's why i'm doing this'  
> my friends saw my bruises and gripped my wrists  
> while i said  
> 'i deserve him'. 
> 
> in summer  
> i wanted no one at all  
> and when he walked into my life  
> i didn't expect  
> to  
> fall  
> but he kisses like the devil  
> while keeping all my demons away  
> my friends held my gaze and told me  
> keep him. stay.


End file.
